Im back, its been 3 years, but im back. I completely forgot i had a blog until last week when Adrian and i were googling our names and one of the results for Adrian was a post from this blog. So after i got access to the blog again here i am! Heres a picture of a peach

The hardships of Tony

This is Anthony Fitzgerald(a.k.a Madame spankalot). Tony was born in the brothel where his mother works, he was a bastard child and was born with mammary glands. When he was growing up he witnessed on many occasions, through a hole in a old door, his mother pleasuring her clients-this had a perverse effect on Tony and at the age of 16 he got a boob job and started dressing in drag. From there, his life plummeted to rock bottom- his mother threw him out on the street and disowned him for being a queer. To stay alive Tony offered himself to horny old men. Then, one day, after nearly a year of living on the streets he met Noel, a lonely teenager, who's parents were dead. Noel was living with his uncle, who beat noel when he got drunk.Noel had inherited money from his parents, unknown to his uncle and he planned to leave his uncle soon. Tony came across Noel at the the local gay club, they immediatly hit it off and soon were dating. Noel knew that he loved Tony, so he offered to set up a gay club for Tony with his inheritence money. Tony was thrilled to hear this and agreed immediately, Noel left his uncle and went to live with Tony in a little apartment above there gay club. Tony and Noel named the gay club, The Blue Oyster. Tony started calling himself Madame Spankalot and they lived at The Blue Oyster happily for many years, until Noel caught Tony breast feeding a baby in there bedroom one night. Noel was shocked and furious and demanded to know where the baby had come from.Tony told him he had kidnapped a baby and he told Noel of how he had longed for a baby for so many years, but it was impossible for him to have one. Noel could not handle this situation, so grabbed furiously for the baby, but Tony wouldn't give it up. There was a struggle and Tony tripped and fell from there window. Noel looked down at Tony from the window and was positive he was dead,he dropped the baby on the bed and he too, leaped from the window, landing on his head and immediately breaking his neck. But, in fact, tony wasn't dead, he had just dislocated his shoulder. He took the baby, some money and a dildo and he ran. He is now wanted by the Gaurds and remember, if you see him, report it to the Guards immediately and do not attempt to approach him.

The trials and tribulations of Kevin Galvin

This is Kevin Galvin or as he likes to be called,the sausage eater, my other housemate. He enjoys sucking car exhausts and humping blimps(aka his mother). He once entered a Miss Tranny beauty pagent, but was later banned, for giving head to the other contestants. He was so heart-broken about the banning, that he tried to commit suicide by choking on a dildo. Luckily Adrian Reidy stopped him in time and later they had bum sex in a fridge which perked Kevin right up. His hobbies include smoking, stalking and ring fiddling. He also enjoys grooming ginger smigs.

Equilibrium

Equilibrium is a film which delves into the dangers of conformatism. It is set in 2026. A man known only as The Father has created an apparent utopia that has no anger, rage,murder or war for everyone who follows him. He has created an antidote for human emotion and anyone who does not conform with his way of thinking and refuse to take the antidote are incinerated alive. Christian Bale plays Preston, the ultimate fighting machine who works for The Father and has no problem destroying anyone who feels or anything that may stimulate human emotion(e.g music and puppies). But when his partner is incinerated for having emotions, he at first, subconscienely stops taking the antidote and once he regains his emotions he knows he must never take the antidote again. He now knows he must stop The Father, but there is many people in his way, including his new partner. Bascilly, its the Matrix,except with more guns

****Four star

Batman Begins

Batman Begins is, in my opinion, the best batman movie ever made. Directed by Chris Nolan, the man who brought us great films such as Momento and Insomnia. Not only does this film have a kick ass storyline and brilliant director, it also has a top notch cast- from great cinema legends like Micheal Caine, Gary Oldman,Liam Neeson and Morgan Freeman to fresh faced actors/actresses like Katie Holmes, Cillian Murphy and the brilliant Christian Bale. Christian Bale does a great job of playing both the rich playboy, Bruce Wayan and the serious crime fighter, Batman. The story takes us back to the start of the origans of Batman, its the story of a troubled young boy who witnesses his parent's death and feels he needs to prevent this from happening to anyone else. This is a magnificant film and truly a triumph in Chris Nolan's career, cant wait for the sequel.

Nudy rating- sorry, Katie Holmes doesnt get her kit off in this one, try The Gift
*****five star

The Shining

The Shining is a powerfull film which delves into the minds of a completely isolated family- a mother, a father and a son. Jack Nicholson does a great job(as usual) playing Jack, an author who takes the position of a caretaker of a hotel that closes at winter and is isolated throughout christmass. He takes the position of the caretaker because he wants some peace and quiet to write his next book. He also brings along his family. As the film progress's the past of the hotel is slowly revealed-what happened to the last caretaker and his family. The title of the film comes from the power the son, Danny, has called the shining, which is a form of telepathy. Eventually, Jack gets very paranoid and starts hallucanating, but its not really hallucanations at all and he is instead talking with spirits who once stayed or worked at the hotel. The past occupants of the hotel convince Jack to try and murder his family and thats when the fun really starts. The Shining is one motherfuckin' freaky film. An interesting trivia you might not of known- The Shining was based on a Stephen King novel and directed by Stanley Kubrick. The interesting fact is that King was not happy with Kubrick's adaption because he changed the ending, King was so irratated that he also made a film of The Shining a few years later which completely bombed.

Nudy raying- do not watch this film for nudity, there is nudity, but its the kind of nudity that will turn your stomach

***** five star

Nudy rating- do not watch this film for nudity, there is one scene with female nudity that will turn your stomach.

A Clockwork Orange

A Clockwork Orange is a disturbing tale of a group of hooligans who like to indulge in ultra-violence and rape("the old in, out"). This film is one of Stanley Kubrick's many superb movies. It's the furthest you can get from a family movie and it can provide quiet uncomfortable viewing at times. Malcolm McDowall was brilliantly cast as the lead character and narrator of the film. Malcolm McDowall's character is used as a guiney pig in a new experimental procedure that supposedly completely rehabilitates a convict, but of course there are side effects and consequences for the "humble narrator".

**** four star

Nudy rating- there is quiet an amount of female nudity in the film, but unforetunetly the majority of nude scenes are rape scenes aswell, so unless your into that kind of shit your not going to like it. Although, there is a scene where malcolm McDowall's character is tested to see if he can refuse a hot topless woman after the experimental treatment, that proves to be quiet arousing.